You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit – Sidney Deane


Wifey Wednesday: Club Edition? Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris, Avicii vs. Lenny Kravitz, Nina Sky, AlunaGeorge (Bondax Remix) + Gotye (Chuck Inglish Remix)

You know how it is, girls just wanna have fun. They like pop music and that pointless up-beat shit. I can’t really be mad at that though. Some of it actually takes me away from my usual deep state of conscious realization of how fucked up everyone/everything is. So is it really pointless music or does it in fact serve a very important purpose? As indirect (and probably ineffective for that matter) as it may be, does pop music actually make our world a better place by uplifting our women’s spirits, which in turn forces us men to pretend to be in a good mood so that ultimately we get what we want from them? I’m half kidding. Well, not about pop music making the world a better place; that I’m whole kidding. In all seriousness though, this shit does actually do a good job of bringing about a better mood. Wifey included, of course.

Did the Biebs release this album yet? Either way, I gotta believe (you like what I just did there?) this one is gonna blow the fuck up. But by me sharing this illegal free download, I feel as though I am contributing to the “save a young talented dude from becoming an overly rich, arrogant, condescending douchebag fund.” Well, maybe that’s unfair to assume. It never happened to Justin Timberlake. But just like the difference between MJ coming up in the 90’s and Lebron coming up in today’s new instantaneously needy social media and news era, it’s a whole new level of exposure and ludicrous (boom. 2 for 2) adoration famous people have to survive through. And let’s be clear on one more thing; JB, regardless of his insane level of future fame all around the world (stop it!), will never be the OG JT. Just like LBJ, regardless of the rings he will win at some point, will never be MJ.

Download: Justin Timberlake – All Around The World (ft. Ludacris)

This is a jam, plain and simple. Starts out slow, but give it a second and let the beat build biiiiiiiiitch. (sidenote: remember when Lil Wayne didn’t suck?). The Lenny sample is pretty key. Did I mention how much I hate strictly instrumental club jams? That’s right. Deadmau5 does about as much for me as Cameron Diaz or Reese Witherspoon. Not a whole lot.

Download: Avicii vs Lenny Kravitz – Superlove (Original Mix)

Where the fuck has Nina been? Welcome back, I think? I don’t know, I haven’t really been paying attention. But nice lil joint here.

Download: Nina Sky – Heartbeat

This one should be in an Arby’s commercial or something; good mood music. I can do without some of the distortion, but lovin the piano portion, of course.

Download: AlunaGeorge – You Know You Like It (Bondax remix)

This one isn’t as hype as the rest, and maybe doesn’t fit so well under the “club” mantra. But I have heard the original song played at bars, which is really weird and kind of depressing. I mean, I like the song too, but at least play the Chuck Inglish version or another more up-beat remix. Thank you in advance. Err, you’re welcome?

Gotye – Somebody That I Use To Know (Chuck Inglish Remix)



Throwback Thursday: The Remix Version ft. Ron Isley vs Riot Earp + Mark Morrison & Biggie vs Viceroy

So apparently this type of reggaeish house jam below is considered moombahton? I would like to investigate the origins of something like that. Who was the person to come up with that nomenclature and how many songs did it take before people stopped laughing in their face after referring to it as such? *Sidenote #1: How smart do I sound when I feel like it?* You know, when does that “tipping point” occur? *Sidenote #2: If sociology and/or the way social trends/word of mouth spread, then you need to get your hands on Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point. If there were ever an appropriate time to say it, “epic” read.* I don’t remember what I was talking about, but upon hearing this song, I automatically heard Ice Cube’s “It Was a Good Day.” Surprisingly, it wasn’t even the instrumental that stood out, it was the “Do I….” from Ron Isley’s “Footsteps In The Dark.”Haha, how awesome is that? I can’t believe Mr. Biggs played such an integral role in more than just my favorite R. Kelly jams of all time.*Sidenote #3: SEE BELOW FOR THEE THROWBACK JAM OF ALL TIME!* And then check out Riot’s joint.

Riot Earp – Should I Care

Ummm, I’m pretty sure nothing really needs to be said for this next one. If I post it, I meant it. The remix does the original justice. Unlike Mark’s ex-girl, I’m not lying to ya.

Mark Morrison – Return of The Mack (Viceroy Remix)

A 2nd entry from Viceroy tonight. I don’t feel like talking about silly remixes anymore. This one, as do the previous two jams, feel like summer. Good times in the Chi.

Notorious B.I.G. – Going Back To Cali (Viceroy Remix)

Heavy Metal (club music) Monday: Adventure Club + Skrillex

You know what I think happened with this whole dubstep phenomenon? I think dudes were kinda embarrassed for liking sweet ass pop/club music so they felt the need to throw in a bunch of hardcore robot fucking so they wouldn’t come off so soft. Think about it. It would be difficult to differentiate these songs from other poppy club songs if you just listened to the normal verse portion, that is with the soothing vocals about love or some shit, along with the happy-go-lucky beat that makes everyone want to join hands and dance together. I mean, how soft is that shit? But then throw in some crazy “whatever-the-fuck you call those sounds” and it’s all of a sudden got an edge to it, and one can point out that portion of the song/music when someone calls them a pussy for liking soft ass pop music. It’s like heavy metal rock, dudes even make the same head-banging motion when it hits hard. I just don’t understand how anyone can actually enjoy that noise, unless of course they were trying to overcompensate for something else. And to a lesser degree, same with those mean ass rap beats with way too much bass and just a bunch of snare drums/noises from Rick Ross’s mouth. There is also the outside chance that it really is merely a matter of taste and this rant is solely based on my musically elitist attitude, but hey at least I’m honest, right? I actually enjoy that sweet as sugar type shit sometimes (see previous post) and would ABSOLUTELY enjoy each one of these songs a lot more without the self-conscious robot fucking. I don’t necessarily HATE dubstep, and these are all still good listens nonetheless. Adventure Club actually gets a pass because even their “noises” somewhat resemble music and do go along with the rest of the song for the most part. Skrillex, on the other hand, gets no such benefit of the doubt. Dude has got some issues and I hate that he feels the need to ruin what otherwise would be really good, albeit soft as hell, club/pop music.

Adventure Club – Rise & Fall

Adventure Club – Wait

Skrillex – Voltage

Wifey Wednesday: Major Lazer, Florence + The Machine vs Calvin Harris, Miguel, Frank Ocean, Usher + The Hood Internet

Being that it was unfortunately probably my most popular weekly post, I had to bring it back. But I don’t have much time to rant about pointless shit (you’re welcome?) so I’ll just get right into it…

Ursher baby. Dude is like the Tim Duncan of R & B. He quietly keeps coming back to kill this shit! Add a bunch of “HWUH” courtesy of Ricky Ross and you got yourself a hit.

Usher – Let Me See (ft. Rick Ross)

Majah Lazah! More mellow than what we’re use to hearing from these dudes, but amazing nonetheless. I wish I knew how to describe electronically produced sounds, because I would be more specific. But all in all, I love the sounds in this song. Soft female vocals always a plus as well.

Major Lazer – Get Free (ft. Amber of Dirty Projectors)

I went to the Calvin Harris show in Chicago a couple months back…let’s just say I did not fit in. The wifey really likes this one. Me too. Gets the people goin!

Florence + The Machine – Spectrum (Calvin Harris Remix)

I like to think that I discovered Miguel because I fell in love with that “Sure Thing” joint when I heard it off some obscure new school mixtape back in 09 before anyone gave a shit. Obviously, that is ridiculous. But still, I knew dude had talent right from the start. Well, seems like that talent is growing, and “it’s just a matter of time”, literally, before he get’s it all. This one works really well in the motivation department.

Miguel – …ALL

This is the first single/popworthy song I’ve heard from Frank, and I’m not mad either. I do like the obscure dark sounding shit from Mr. Ocean slightly better, but dude has gotta eat, right?

Frank Ocean – PDA

Just in case you weren’t feeling the electronic R & B vibe, you might like the indie.

The Hood Internet – See Youth (Usher // Santigold)

Eric Turner’s collab with Lu & Tinie REMIXED

Eric Turner – Angel & Stars (Feat. Lupe Fiasco & Tinie Tempah) [R3hab Remix]

Guilty Pleasure: The Hood Internet – When The Night Knows (Whitney Houston vs Chromeo)

What, just because I enjoy my own personal journeys with emo-esque rap music courtesy of Joe Budden and the like means I can’t also wanna get up and dance with somebody to the sweet sounds of Whitney (RIP) over some funky Chromeo beats?…I’m not afraid to say it, this shit gets me moving. I’m an eighties baby, baby!

The Hood Internet – When The Night Knows (Whitney Houston // Chromeo) (right-click, “save as” to dl)

Thumpin Thursday: Chris Brown, Chiddy Bang, Major Lazer ft. Partysquad, The Wanted (HLM Remix) + Foxes (Adventure Club Remix)

Is the alliteration thing too obvious? In any event, whether you’re trying to sweat it out on the dance floor or the treadmill, these beats outta get the blood flowing. I don’t really have anything else to say about the music because I’ve been too focused watching my shorthanded Bulls take it to the Knicks in the Garden. Derrick Rose again showed us why he is the MVP of the league. So sick. As a Bulls fan, it’s truly a blessing to witness this kid’s growth. It’s real nice to be a season ticket holder too.

Chris Brown – Turn Up The Music

Chiddy Bang – Ray Charles (Skeet Skeet Moombahton Remix)

Major Lazer – Original Don (ft. The Partysquad)

The Wanted – Glad You Came (HLM Remix)

Foxes – Youth (Adventure Club Remix)